


In Oceans of Azure Hue

by Morbidocity



Series: A Love Like No Other [2]
Category: Chris Hemsworth - Fandom, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom, hiddlesworth - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Feels, Forbidden Love, Heavy Angst, Hurt, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, What Have I Done, break ups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-07
Packaged: 2017-12-25 22:16:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/958221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morbidocity/pseuds/Morbidocity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the break up in Chris' eyes and how he feels about the whole thing.  Counterpart to 'Behind Teary Eyes'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Oceans of Azure Hue

It's a blissful feeling, the mind-numbing haze after sex. It wasn't just sex in Chris' opinion though; it was great sex, it was sex spurred on by those deep feelings that didn't even need saying. His mind is abuzz, a pleasant high brought on by the passionate session they'd just had that left him slick with sweat and littered in red hickeys and bruises that he'd have to find a way to cover up and hide before he left. He didn't mind that though. 

Tom's skin is smooth under his touch, it always is. Chris marvels at just how soft it was, how easily he can run his thumb over the lean shoulder still damp with sweat as they lay there, still panting and trying to catch the breath they'd stolen from each other. Neither of them has said anything since the peak of their release but Chris didn't mind that either, the silence was comfortable. 

That was until Tom parted his lips to speak.

"We can't do this anymore."

The words hit Chris like a freight train. He'd known this was coming, they both had. It'd been something they'd ignored since this affair had started so long ago. In a sense, they'd been foolish with their feelings. They'd let the feelings build and build like the pieces of a Jenga puzzle, ignoring the inevitable fall until Tom pulled that last supporting block and brought the tower crashing down around them. 

Chris allows his eyelids to fall closed, blocking the plush hotel room view out of his sight. He can feel Tom shift against him but even then he isn't tempted to unveil his eyes from their covers. More than anything he's worried that if he sees Tom's bright eyes dulled by the solemn topic, sad and so emotion filled (the faces that the Brit could make during his emotions tended to kill him anyway) he wouldn't be able to hold himself back from breaking down. 

"I know." What else can he say? They'd both known this would happen eventually and they'd both known that when the time came to break it off neither of them would fight. Chris can feel his throat tighten as the words leave his lips, it hurts to admit that this is the end of something so good. He can tell Tom feels it too, the hurt and the feeling of hopelessness. He almost expects the British actor to slip out of his arms in a final end to it but instead he feels those bronze curls tickling against his chin and the sharp nose nuzzling into the nape of his neck and he can feel the breathy sigh released against his damp skin, sending a shiver coursing through his spine.

He skims his fingers along Tom's arm, trailing soft, invisible patterns on that pale skin until he dips his hands down to circle them around the slim waist and pull him as close as he could possible pull him. "I wish it didn't have to end."

When Tom starts speaking again, the very sound of his voice is enough to break Chris' heart. He's so broken sounding already and Chris wishes nothing more that he could mend this whole thing, rewind time so that this conversation had never been started in the first place. "Remember when we first met on the set of Thor?"

He doesn't answer. Of course he remembers. He can remember everything since then, everything right before that. He'd been so nervous the first day he'd been put in that silly costume, worried that he didn't look the part, worried that he looked like an idiot. It'd taken a lot of confidence in himself to walk out of that dressing room and just when he'd been beginning to doubt it, out had walked Tom in his own armour grinning like a five year old. 'This is awesome!' He can remember the words so clearly, see the playful expression as Tom had stolen Mjolnir from him and waved it around like he owned the place and-

A bitter laugh cuts through his trip down memory lane and Chris is finally spurred to open his eyes, tilting his head to look down at Tom as best as he can. It doesn't do much as the actor's face is still buried in his neck and all he can really see are those crazy locks of curls sticking out in the most random directions. "You were so proud of your family then, well, your wife. I remember just how committed you were, you'd said you'd never cheat on her, you loved her so much."

"Tom-"

He's silenced before he can get anything more than the name to fall from his lips. Two soft fingers are pressed to his lips and Chris falls silent obediently. He never interrupted Tom when Tom had something he needed to say.

"And then we..." There's a pause, another deep and rather shaky breath ghosting across his neck and Chris has to fight the hitch that threatens his own breath at the feeling. "Tell me... If you'd met me first, would you have married me instead?"

Truthfully, Chris doesn't even need to think about the answer. Still, he is silent for the moment, his mind thinking back to how taken with Elsa he'd been when he'd met her... and then to how enthralled he'd been when he'd met Tom. He loved them both, dearly so, and had he met Tom before he'd met Elsa, he had no doubt where he'd be. 

"Yes."

The only sound that slices through the air then is the strangled cry that passes Tom's lips. The very sound sends a sharp pain through Chris' heart and for a moment he wonders if he'd said something wrong. Surely, Tom wouldn't want him to deny the question...?

Gently, softly, Chris wraps his fingers around Tom's chin, tilting his face so that their eyes met. "You know I would... Tom, look at me." Finally, their eyes meet and there's more that is exchanged between them than words could ever truly express. "I do love you."

Chris had never been the type to observe rather than to simply see but it doesn't take a genius to notice the slight tremble to Tom's lips or the way his eyes were brighter when he was on the verge of tears. It doesn't register that Tom is actually crying until Chris feels the moisture meet the pad of his thumb and slowly he wipes at the tear, brushing it away from Tom's cheeks.

"I love you too..."

And Chris is sure that a piece of his heart dies with those words.


End file.
